0
Show-don't-tell audit that avoids the generic fix
I know 'show don't tell' is the cliche note, but I actually want a precise audit, not the vague version of this advice. Below is a passage.
Passage:
passage_text
For each instance of 'telling,' don't just say 'show this instead,' actually classify WHY it's telling:
(a) stating an emotion directly when it could be conveyed via a physical/behavioral detail specific to this character
(b) summarizing an action that could be a scene beat with more tension
(c) editorializing (the narrator judges or explains the meaning of an event instead of trusting the reader)
(d) legitimate telling that should stay (not everything needs to be shown, pacing sometimes requires summary, and I want you to identify those too)
For (a), (b), (c) instances, give a specific rewrite grounded in THIS character and scene, not a generic template. For (d) instances, explain why showing it would actually hurt pacing.
Don't flag things that are already fine just to seem thorough.