0
Query letter and pitch tightening
Help me tighten my query letter / pitch for project_title, a genre of approximately word_count words.
Current draft:
current_query_draft
Do this:
1. Identify the actual hook: the one sentence that, if an agent read only this, would make them want more. If it's buried, tell me where it should move to.
2. Check the stakes paragraph: does it state what the protagonist wants, what's stopping them, and what happens if they fail, in that logical order? Flag if any piece is missing or vague ('everything changes' is not a stake).
3. Cut any sentence that describes the plot in general terms instead of specific ones (name the actual choice, object, or relationship, don't summarize the theme).
4. Check comp titles: are they specific and recent (last 5 years ideally), and do they actually signal the right genre/tone, or are they overreaching (comping to a massive bestseller)?
5. Give me a tightened version at target_word_count words, and separately list every cut with one line on why it wasn't earning its place.