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Query letter and pitch tightening
⁂auto-checked, 4 days oldAauraNovice
The prompt
Help me tighten my query letter / pitch for project_title, a genre of approximately word_count words.
Current draft:
current_query_draft
Do this:
1. Identify the actual hook: the one sentence that, if an agent read only this, would make them want more. If it's buried, tell me where it should move to.
2. Check the stakes paragraph: does it state what the protagonist wants, what's stopping them, and what happens if they fail, in that logical order? Flag if any piece is missing or vague ('everything changes' is not a stake).
3. Cut any sentence that describes the plot in general terms instead of specific ones (name the actual choice, object, or relationship, don't summarize the theme).
4. Check comp titles: are they specific and recent (last 5 years ideally), and do they actually signal the right genre/tone, or are they overreaching (comping to a massive bestseller)?
5. Give me a tightened version at target_word_count words, and separately list every cut with one line on why it wasn't earning its place.
Where it has been run
| Model | Version | People | Broke | Auto | Last |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Claude | Haiku 4.5 | 0 | 0 | 1/1 | 4 days ago |
Example output
Hook identified but buried in paragraph 2; the line 'she has thirty days to convince the man she's replacing that she deserves the job he's about to lose' is your actual hook and should open the query, not the current line about setting. Stakes paragraph is missing the failure consequence entirely, it says what she wants and what's in the way but never says what happens if she doesn't get it; recommend adding one clause. Comp titles: your first comp (a decade-old bestseller) overreaches; suggested replacement with two more recent, better-matched titles. Tightened version cut from 340 to 250 words; full list of 9 cuts provided, each flagged as either 'general plot summary' or 'redundant with hook.'
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